Thursday, October 28, 2004
A feasible stride of once implausible faux pas,
channelling me to an abyss of ashen dust.
Echoes of angst reverberating the millieu,
its emission coursing me to some place new.
Oblivious to the depiction in my eyes,
ignorant to the truth and its lies.
And as I relinquish,
I'll incise my love on the floor.
Will love save us once more?
10:40 PM
Saturday, October 23, 2004
looks like I won't be seeing Sem during the hols.
mmm.
Fantastic.
And I lurff euu too, Sem.
berrie berrie much.
1:07 AM
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
It creeps up on you,
overwhelming you like a tidal wave.
Catalysts - the particular place,
a certain voice. Nostalgia.
Your mind sweeps past the vast recesses of memory.
The final decision is then yours.
The decision to reminisce.
And upon that choice, the floodgates open.
Suddenly, certain details are as clear as crystal.
A particular dialogue, a scene from the past
that replays back according to how you last remembered it.
According to how you want it to be remembered.
Events as long as 10 years ago
are still vividly burning.
The phone rings.
You are jolted awake.
You pick it up,
and it is as quickly forgotten.
Life is continued.
That, to me, is the problem of nostalgia.
The romantic feeling of yearning for the past.
The fantasy of picking up where you last left off.
But, this particular time in your history
is only remembered by you.
No one remembers/recollects the same thing.
We all take out different experiences and
select certain things we want to store
in our hearts to allow ourselves to remember.
And in that reminisce,
we throw ourselves dangerously in
the wanting of everything to be the same.
The yearning for a replay of the past.
And that, is the problem of nostalgia,
because identity is ever-changing.
Nothing ever remains static.
2:18 PM
Evil does not exist.
or at least, it does not exist unto itself.
Evil is simply the absence of God.
It is just like darkness and cold,
a word that man has created to
describe the absence of God.
God did not create evil.
Evil is not like faith, or love
that exist just as does light and heat.
Evil is the result of what happens
when man does not have God's love
present in his heart.
It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat
or the darkness that comes when there is no light.
1:31 PM
Monday, October 18, 2004
The aftertaste is gonna break my heart.
Feels like it's over before it starts.
11:47 PM
Friday, October 15, 2004
Me : I can help you style and dress up!!
Me : That'll be interesting,
Me : You can be my life-sized barbie doll.
Layung : BARBIE??
Layung : KEN LA!
Hahahahahaha!
Oops, I forgot.
:b
10:59 PM
Thursday, October 14, 2004
When unspoken love lingers
on your quivering lips,
you slowly unravel
your bashful passion
for our togetherness.
Rainbow of love
caresses our cherished desire.
Gush of happiness
mingles with ecstatic colours
of our blazing exploration.
We embrace each other
in our aflamed arms
where captive love is treasured
for us forever.
1:31 PM
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
you know what?
Just fuck studying.
I'm the sole procrastinator amongst
ALL my friends who are mugging their butts off.
Screw O levels.
I'd rather sleep.
Good night.
11:43 PM
Sunday, October 10, 2004
If you want to hear solely
what you want to hear,
find a robot.
I'm not whom you should turn to.
Don't snap at me.
I'm no fucking mechanical toy.
1:44 AM
I will sleep another day
I don't really need to anyway
What's the point when my dreams are infected
with words you used to say
I will breathe in a moment
As long as I keep my distance
I wouldn't want to go messing anything up
So don't go worrying about me
It's not like I think about you constantly
So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect
your life anymore
I knew it the moment you walked into the door
and constantly,
all over again, you shatter me.
1:05 AM
Saturday, October 09, 2004
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
Seemingly Complex,
with a touch of sweetness hidden beneath
which divulges itself in fading memories.
A beautiful movie. (:
11:41 PM
Virgo is a Mutable, Earth Sign.
Your sign typifies the search for knowledge.
You're highly rational, analytical
and your own biggest critic.
Others see you as organized and dependable.
Precision is important to you.
And this extends to your relationships.
8:43 PM
Dear Belle,
Something you've put your efforts into in the past
could be dominating your thoughts on Friday.
Your charm could be at an all-time high this weekend,
and you shouldn't have much trouble getting what you want.
You probably won't even need to make that great an effort,
so don't be afraid to let someone else
take the lead in romantic matters.
Quite accurate, you know?
Hahahahahaha.
But so far..
Nope, didn't get anything I want.
SIGH. (hahaha)
8:34 PM
Friday, October 08, 2004
I seem to be the only one
who's updating my blog so frequently.
Not only so,
all my friends seem to have disappeared
into the realm of studying.
I should seriously start,
yet I still lack the fortitude. :|
Prelims were a disappointment.
I swear I could have done much better.
Most mistakes were sheer carelessness.
Shiatte damnit.
Which JC should I go to now?
Suggestions, anyone?
Oh, and I met
Sasa and
Dawn today.
Still as crazy as ever. :)
10:13 PM
FINALLY. After 3 hours,
I've completed editing the graduation speech.
Of course, I was talking to Chow & Em in between la.
Plus, I had to run up and down the stairs
to print out this document.
Cindy, you owe me big man. Hahah.
Anyway, so much for editing.
I've added a lot of my personal perceptions
about the teachers that have taught me.
Truthfully, I'm very gratified towards them.
I've benefited a lot from Ghim Moh through them.
Amazing teachers they irrefutably are.
Despite expressing my 2pgs-long gratitude,
it wouldn't be my gratitude they'd hear,
but the entire class's.
Ahh well..
I'm going to bed now.
I still have to prepare myself for tmr.
Fucking apprehensive about receiving back S.Studies.
I hope it ain't gonna be a blemish to my results.
Please pray for me.
I know there'd come a day whereby
I'd sincerely thank you for
dismissing me to a place away frm my friends.
Despite how much I've abhorred you in the past,
Thank you, Mrs Lee.
Hope you're enjoying yourself in heaven. :)
2:31 AM
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Andrea accorded me a realization
of what the best gift truly is.
Bona Fide Words.
Thank you, dear.
I love you. :)
10:30 PM
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
I find it rather amusing that
Darren and myself share facsimile reasons
on why we dislike --------
(don't bother trying to guess who)
lalala..
11:25 PM
I think I'm queer.
I don't have a coherent explanation
that articulates well enough why
I tend to set overstating aspirations
when I know I do not have enough fortitude
nor foundation to achieve that aim.
Yet, almost all the time,
I wish a miracle would occur
and grant me my aspired target.
Take my prelims for example.
I didn't mug for this examination in all truth.
Everything was a mere glance-over.
Yet, I inanely set an impractical expectation
which I obviously failed to achieve.
Thus, feeling thoroughly vanquished. :|
And if you do harbour the thought
that I do not rightfully deserve my results..
Well, I wouldn't logomachize that.
Afterall, I am in a different school.
Perhaps if I were still in St Margs,
I would have scored much worse.
Be that as it may,
it's unfeasible for one to not work at all
and achieve satisfying results,
despite varying circumstances.
And my stance remains impregnable.
Or possibly, I'm striding on luck's track.
But it all narrows down to one reason still..
I couldn't have done it without
Him. :)
11:04 PM
EVERYONE is studying right now.
EVERYONE is increasing my culpability level
for not studying at all.
I did not study for Prelims,
and I've not commenced on revision for Os.
Belle is still heeheehaa-ing
while waiting for all my Prelim results.
By then, it'll be too late to start work.
Yet, belle's too lazy to do anything now.
HELP ME.
:(
10:51 PM
Monday, October 04, 2004
Les Choristes (Choir Boys)
Fantastico movie!!
If you don't watch it,
that is what I call a
LOSS.
I'm gonna buy the dvd no matter what.
It is an unequivocal decision.
I think I have a predilection towards
this genre of films.
It's REALLY fabulouso!
Sis's taste has proven to be excellent!
Good
movies make me SMILE!
I'm a happy girl!! :D
ANDREA HUI AR.
you missed out man.
See la!
This is what you get when
YOU RENEGE ON OUR DATE.
-shakes head-
Anyway, Sidney Sheldon IS good.
I shall borrow
Tell Me Your Dreams for you.
I think you'd enjoy these schizoid stories. (:
And what's wrong with what I say in front of Merser?
All is a-okay whatt.
Teehee.
Oh, and I've gotten back my results
for Accounts, Chinese and Science.
Well... I've nothing to say really.
Mom's rather disappointed.
And I'm going for my dvd marathon now.
Cheerios!
9:07 PM
Sunday, October 03, 2004
The one hilarious scenario today.
Mom and Jarrell were contemplating
how to go about entrapping
a gigantic grasshopper which was
dawdling in her bathroom.
So, she HAD to call me.
I was quite tentative myself.
That 6-legged creature was obviously primed to leap.
Jarrell was initially all macho, declaring..
"Aiyah, I catch la, I catch la."
And when Mom passed him the bin,
he just froze and became rabbity.
Hahaha, silly twirp.
So, I approached that wary insect.
As expected, its leg sprung into the air
and it was flying around the bathroom.
And guess what?!
That pest decided to land on my shirt la!
It was there staring at me with its
don't-know-how-many-eyes.
Shit damnit I tell you.
And the both of them just happily
stood there laughing at me.
THANKS. :|
My body was completely stiff.
But thankfully, I managed to capture
it with Mom's help.
Yes, on my fucking shirt.
Jarrell and I then went to release it.
I was quite heedful this time.
So I dropped the plastic bag onto the grass,
hoping that pest would just fly out,
and I can get back to the com.
But noo, that idiot would just stay in there.
So I had to go over and try to shake it out.
When I lightly touched the plastic bag,
THAT IDIOT HAD TO JUMP LA.
Scared the living daylights outta me!
And it happened everytime I try to
draw nearer to the plastic bag.
Jarrell was laughing his guts out la.
That asswipe.
So finally, that creature decided to get out.
And when it did..
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
It flew DIRECTLY at Jarrell as if
it was some fucking cannonball.
Jarrell was screaming and running for home.
HAHAHAHAHA I
REALLY ENJOYED THAT. :D
Okay, belle shall shut up now.
I think I sound really inane.
And I think I'm gonna get back my results tmr.
I hope I did well,
despite not studying. :|
Ahhh. Good night world.
Belle is sick enough of you today.
9:50 PM
Love, like rain,
can nourish from above,
drenching couples with soaking joy.
But sometimes,
under the angry heat of life,
love dries on the surface
and must nourish from below,
tending to its roots,
keeping itself alive.
Life has to end, but love doesn't.
8:52 PM
I am 60% evil.
I'm getting there. I haven't done all the damage I could do but I've done quite a bit. I'm just over the border into the Evil Zone.
Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com
8:46 PM
I'll sing to you, Lord
A hymn of love
for Your faithfulness to me.
I'm carried in everlasting arms.
You'll never let me go
Through it all.
8:40 PM
Our eyes are different.
What you see ain't what I see.
And what I love,
you'll never be able to perceive.
1:47 AM
Saturday, October 02, 2004
All parents damage their children.
It cannot be helped.
Youth, like pristine glass,
absorbs the prints of its handlers.
Some parents smudge, others crack,
a few shatter childhoods completely
into jagged pieces, beyond repair.
11:24 PM
In 5 hours,
Belle is gonna get out of bed.
In 6 hours,
Belle is going to the airport.
Because Mommy's coming back to S'pore!!!
Miss her so much. :D
11:03 PM
Along with every decision,
there's always temptation.
1:10 AM
I hate people who hurt my dear ones.
I hate.
I hate.
I HATE.
because they hurt me too :|
1:02 AM
Friday, October 01, 2004
"And it only hurts when you cry
I'm only sad
when there's tears in your eyes
I can't lie and say I'm fine
but it only hurts when you cry"
True, I'm in no fucking position to
do anything about it at all.
I'm merely someone who'll always be here
if you ever need me.
I miss your euphoria and hilarity,
esp when I look through your msges.
I want it to return.
But I'm inept.
I can only hurt when you cry.
11:15 PM
